I want the passion, I want the love. I want the things you can only find in literature. I want the perfect ending with the happily ever after. I want the things that can make me scream. I want a man who likes literature, music, theatre and poetry. I want the things I dream of every night and I won’t settle for less than that. I want the drama, the comedy the realness of life. I want the things that make my eyes sparkle and I want what I dreamed of as a little girl. I want the beautiful things in life and I won't settle for ordinary. Life was meant to be extraordinary.
There comes a point at night in which it's so late you just decide, "Fuck it," and stay up until it is daylight. I have not quite reached that point but I feel that I probably will tonight. I couldn't sleep so I put on a full face of makeup just to try out my new MAC minerlize blush/face thing (in Blonde, for those of you wondering) and it's fucking amazing.
Then I took some pictures.
They didn't turn out well so I won't post them, but now I'm bored with nothing to do. I looked up my classes for the fall term online and saw who was in my classes. I know at least one person in every one of my classes, so I'm happy about that.
And now time for... something. Not sleep, I know that. I have no clue what it's time for.
I've been wondering lately how it is that if you are Christian people automatically think you're kind and a good moral citizen, but if you are not Christian, you become someone who is not to be trusted and someone who has sketchy morals at best.
How does belief in Jesus = good morals, kind of heart? How does belief other than Jesus = bad morals, cruel of heart?
Most of the Christians I know are not good, outstanding citizens of society. No, rather they are quite the opposite. They are the first to judge when you walk into a room based on appearances only. They are the first to tell you the juciest piece of gossip. And a lot of the ones I know are into drugs and sleeping around.
I'm not saying all, I'm just saying that that's how the ones I know act.
Now, yes, I'm going to compare them to the non-Christians I know.
The non-Christians I know are a mixture of both good and bad. However, they are mostly good. They do not judge you based off of appearances only. They do not like gossip and they do not enjoy "immoral" things.
Yes, I do know some who do enjoy "immoral" things and who do judge you based off of solely appearances.
And no, I am not condoning judging Christians just because of everything that Jesus did. Their version of Jesus is truly an exception to the rule. He didn't sin. However, shouldn't the Christian lifestyle reveal what they believe at the heart of the matter? Shouldn't their actions be representive of what they believe rather than what I end up seeing?
Yes, I'm calling you who call yourself Christians out beacause most of the actions I'm seeing are quite the opposite of Christian.
For everytime you cringe when someone swears, for everytime you judge that person for wearing "alternative" clothing or having piercings (or, for you alternative Christians, for everytime you judge that American Eagle wearing person), for everytime you judge that person for having sex before marriage and for everytime you tell the latest bit of gossip you heard from another person... Why? Is it because you have unrealistic expectations for everyone else... except you?
I guess all I'm trying to say is... Please, please, PLEASE think. Think before you do anything because you're representing your community.
Jenna is going to design me a tattoo. :) I'm really excited. I love how she draws. It's worth the wait. :) I was going to get my tattoo today but then I decided to ask Jenna to design me a book with the Chanel logo on it that looks vintage-y so it combines all of my loves. :)
I applied for my FAFSA today and the VA grant type things. :) And, if all goes well, I'll have extra money to spend on my tattoo and getting an anti-eyebrow done. My friends are using their extra money from it to spend on clothes, but I already have a lot of that. XD :D I'm stoked! I might get my tongue done, too. I'm not sure, though. I always think tongue rings look sort of skanky, but that's just me...
I had a pretty non eventful day today. The main thing was applying for money for school in the fall and that was it. I should have done it sooner but I didn't expect to be going to school this fall at all. I can't find a job, though, and I need something to do... The classes I'm taking are: Shakespeare, Survey of English Lit, Math 20 (shut up, I know how low that is, but I suck, haha), Acting I. I'm excited about all of my classes except Math. I had a bad expierence last time I had a math class, so I'm freaked out that I'll have a shit time this time, too. Oh, well. You can't always have fun, right?
I've decided to blog about what I believe in although it will probably anger some people who read this. I don't particularly care, however, so here it goes.
I was raised in a conservative Christian family with the typical values that most Christians hold. No sex before marriage, gay marriage is bad, abortion is bad, cohabitation before marriage is bad and so forth. Oh, and don't forget how evil those darned liberals are. After living that life until about 8th grade, I realized I could think for myself and that I didn't agree with them. So, after much consideration, I lost my virginity in 11th grade, realized I'm pansexual more than anything else and that liberals weren't so bad seeming as I agreed with most of what they said. Much to my parents dismay, I changed my faith, too. I've changed my faith numerous times, but currently I am at a agnostic/Jewish/Christian/Buddhism stage and have been for a year or so.
I'm not saying Christians are bad, no, I'm just saying my experience with the church wasn't healthy at all. Neither was my attending a Christian school from kindergarten up until ninth grade. I'm at a much better place now, honestly. I believe in a God, I agree with most of Jesus' teachings (but I'm not sure I believe he was God), I have a good set of morals (or so I think... I mean, I'm not fucking everyone that moves, but I'm far from being virginal, too), and I feel like I'm doing good with my life.
